S3 E2 - I'm struggling to have an orgasm and I don't know why...


It's About the "O"

In today's episode we'll be talking about why orgasm can sometimes be elusive, and how you can become better friends with the big "O."


We spent hours putting together an awesome 7-page guide called "How to Experience Orgasm." In the guide, we go over a bunch of things you can do to become more familiar with your body, and your capacity for pleasure.

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If you want more tips on how to become more friendly with the elusive orgasm, check out this 7-page guide!

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Show Notes

The following time stamps are matched up to the podcast version of the episode, not the video version.

  • 2:00 - Recap from last week
  • 2:30 - If your sex is great, it accounts for 10% of your relationship. If your sex is struggling, it accounts for 90% of your relationship.
  • 4:00 - The strength of your orgasms and the frequency can changed based off of the things that are going on in your life.
  • 5:00 - Sometimes the only thing you need to "spice up your sex life" is understand your anatomy and its capacity for pleasure.
  • 7:00 - Women's anatomy is no more complicated than male anatomy, we just haven't prioritized it enough.
  • 9:00 - What is the vulva, and how is it different than the vagina?
  • 10:15 - Women's sexual pleasure comes mainly through the clitoris, not the vagina. Most women either can't or struggle to experience orgasm through intercourse.
  • 12:30 - Vaginal orgasm/G-spot orgasm is not a "different" orgasm from a clitoral orgasm.
  • 14:00 - Follow the pleasure and take off the pressure.
  • 14:30 - Sex is not a "drive"
  • 15:40 - Context is HUGELY important to experiencing desire and arousal.
  • 16:00 - Check out Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
  • 17:45 - Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire. It's VERY important to know the difference, and which one you're more likely to experience.
  • 19:10 - When were the times you had an amazing experience during sex? What was the context?
  • 22:20 - For some people you experience desire for sex, then you experience arousal. For others, you experience arousal first, and then desire.
  • 23:35 - Let's talk a little bit about vibrators and lube
  • 26:20 - Stress is the anti-aphrodisiac
  • 27:00 - Episode summary
  • 29:00 - Extra resource: Becoming Clitorate by Laurie Mintz