Episode 22 - Porn Addiction

 

For the record, this podcast and this blog post is neither pro-porn nor anti-porn. It's simply an effort to educate those who consume porn on the potential side effects of its consumption.

Holy crap we're talking about porn!

Yup, Porn... that thing that so many of us quietly indulge in behind closed and locked doors. That thing that causes the hyper-conservatives to recoil in fear. That thing that causes religious leaders and mothers alike to shudder at its very mention.

For many people, porn has become as much a part of every day life as a regular bowel movement. We sit in a darkened room staring at a screen, clicking a mouse, opening dozens of tabs. Buffering... buffering... buffering...

Always on the lookout for that perfect scene.

Watching for something new and exciting.

Envisioning the ultimate erotic fantasy.

People say looking at porn is completely normal. It isn't hurting anyone.

I've been one of those people.

I've been the lonely, depressed, or just plain horny guy who just needed a safe and private sexual outlet. I've been the guy who said, "I can stop looking at porn when I find a girlfriend or get married. No problem." I've been the guy who felt insecure, helpless, lonely and ashamed. I've felt unwanted because, as I've heard over and over and over in one way or another in my life, "Who would ever want to be with someone who looks at that disgusting stuff?"

There are countless people who feel stuck. They're hooked and they don't even know it. Their only escape from porn is more porn. Thousands of wrecked relationships that are living proof that porn can be devastating to love.

Nobody sits down to dinner with friends and says with a twinkle in their eye, "You know what? Me and porn, we have such a great thing going. I'm just really happy with our relationship. I think we're really going places."

We have a problem. It's time to fix it. And to fix it, we need to be willing to talk about it and learn about it.

Is Porn Addictive?

Porn is Addictive | The Loveumentary
Porn is Addictive | The Loveumentary

The difficult thing with porn is that - relative to most other addictive substances - it has only recently become highly accessible to the public. People have been studying the side effects of tobacco, alcohol, drugs, and prescription medications for decades. Although not a new invention, porn's sudden ease of access makes it a brand new, and unique threat for the digital generation.

It's a threat because most people who consume porn are not educated about the potential side effects. We've been educated to know that smoking causes cancer, drinking causes liver and heart disease, and your brains can turn to scrambled eggs when on drugs.

But there's no warning attached to pornography. And people consume it and are ignorant to the addiction they're feeding until it's too late.

Nobody tells you it can negatively impact your sex drive and even cause early onset erectile disfunction.

Nobody tells you it can alter your brain chemistry.

Nobody explains how it gives you incredibly unrealistic expectations regarding what healthy sex looks like.

I'm not saying that nobody should look at porn.

What I am saying is that there needs to be more education, research, and information available to those who choose to consume it so that people can make informed decisions. (Which is one of the reasons you should listen to the podcast above. We chat about the negative effects of porn, treatment, and how to support someone you love who may have an addiction.)

If we remain ignorant, and continue to refuse to talk about difficult or uncomfortable things, we leave a generation of people ill-equipped to deal with the ever-changing challenges their reality has in store for them.

Do yourself a favor. Learn about porn. Understand what it's capable of. Teach your friends and family members. Help our society make responsible and educated decisions about sex and any form of addictive substance.

Let's not wallow in unnecessary pain because of our own ignorance.

[jbox title="Show Notes:" border="5" radius="15"] How Kids Learn About Sex: Heres the video by Betony Vernon explaining how we're raising a generation of children with skewed perceptions regarding healthy sexuality because of our unwillingness to address a taboo topic in a healthy way.

Protect Yourself: Need some good recommendations for filtration software, education, or support for an addiction? Check out the Fight The New Drug website.

How porn affected Maria's relationship:

Maria's Story: "Pornography affected my relationship" from Fight the New Drug on Vimeo.

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