One thing I love about my fiancée is that she's always a soft place to land for me.
I often come to her with worries, concerns, or struggles. Sometimes I experience a lot of fear and anxiety around these conversations. I fear that my weaknesses and imperfections will make me unworthy of love.
Yet every time I push through the resistance and open up to her, I am met with more of her patient love, understanding, and acceptance.
She has never raised her voice at me. She has never judged me or thrown my mistakes or fears back into my face.
I have never experienced love and acceptance like that before, and I know that if we can continue to be a soft place to land for each other through our struggles, and trials, and hardships that we will be able to make it through anything life throws our way.
Having a soft place to land - or someone you can talk to about anything without fear of judgement - is so important. Here are some of the things that can help you be a soft place to land for the people you love:
Don't give advice. Don't pull weird faces. Don't fix things. Don't ask questions.
Whatever the person across from you is sharing is not easy to say. Sit quietly and take it all in.
Reinforce Their Value
Sometimes all we need to hear as humans is that it's ok to not be perfect. It's ok to mess up. It's ok to have weaknesses.
After listening, reassure them that they are still loved. Tell them how important they are to you no matter how much they screw up.
This will help prevent the people you love from falling into a shame cycle, and it will make it easier to come to you in the future.
If you are in the place to do so, offer forgiveness.
Forgive quickly and often (when abuse and addictions are not a factor).
When people are freed from the burdens of guilt, they show up for you in the most beautiful and spectacular way. Forgiveness is magical, and when coupled with gratitude, will transform a marriage.
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