Welcome To The LoveumentarY!
Chapter 1... The Question
I'm Nate, and I started The Loveumentary back in 2012 because people kept telling me they wanted me to get married "so I could be happy." But most of the time these people didn't look very happy. To be honest, they looked kind of miserable.
Don't get me wrong, I wanted to get married one day. But I figured if I was going to hitch myself to the marriage wagon, I wanted it to be ridiculously awesome. I mean, who on their wedding day says, " You know what I want? A super mediocre marriage!"?
So if I was going to have a marriage I could be proud of, I needed answers to some questions:
How do I not suck at relationships?
What do the most awesome couples have figured out that all the boring, depressed, or even divorced couples completely miss?
When people say, "Marriage is work!" or "Marriage requires sacrifice!" what do they mean? What the heck is the work and what do you need to sacrifice?
What do I need to do to make sure that when I do get married, my marriage doesn't turn into one of those passionless, sexless, happinessless (sometimes I make up words) marriages?
You get the idea...
As I looked for answers I realized there are a lot of people studying (and providing resources) for what's broken in relationships. I decided to go a different route and study the couples whose relationships I wanted to emulate.
So I quit my job, sold everything I had, and started traveling the country, hunting down the most incredible couples I could find to see what they could teach me about love.
The things I've learned and experienced on this journey have completely transformed what I thought was possible. And the beautiful thing is you can go on the same journey... but without spending all the gas money, because I recorded all these conversations for you!
Chapter 2... The Kickstarter
After about a year and 25 episodes, I was introduced to Melissa Joy Kong in 2013. Melissa had a goal to capture 100 of the greatest love stories in America, and write a book about what she learned through the process:
"As a journalist, I grew frustrated listening to story after story talk about the negative side of love and marriage. How many of us haven't heard the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce? I was curious: What about the other 50%? What story isn't getting told? Millions of couples across America are building great relationships and happy families. While the fairytale romances are fun to listen to, I was more interested in creating a project that outlined the real story of love across America—including the stories laced with hardship and pain.
Of course, part of my desire to tell this story was personal. I was raised by an incredible single mom in New York City, but had no perspective on what a healthy marriage looked like—I never saw one growing up. I wanted to figure out what the healthiest, happiest couples do differently so I could pinpoint the patterns and apply them to my own relationship one day.
When I met Nate and realized we shared the same heartfelt mission, it was too serendipitous to ignore. We both knew almost immediately that we wanted to combine efforts and take The Loveumentary on the road. We didn't meet in person until Day 1 of this project, when I flew out to Utah to begin the journey with Nate. Crazy? Maybe. But just like any relationship out there, the most worthwhile things in life require a huge leap of faith. I'm so glad Nate and I decided to take one together and bring this incredible project to the rest of America."
So, Melissa and I launched a Kickstarter together. Somehow we hit our goal (thanks to a group of super generous contributors), we spent nearly 3 months criss-crossing the USA, and we recorded dozens of incredible interviews with couples from every walk of life... gay, straight, rich, poor, monogamous, polygamous, arranged marriages, couples who live in big cities, couples from small towns you've never heard of...
We learned so much, added tons more episodes to the podcast, and now Melissa is working on completing her book!
Chapter 3... The Present
Since Melissa and I completed our trip, we have since parted ways. I met the love of my life and got married (whoop whoop), and I have to say... marriage is incredible!
Now The Loveumentary has taken on a whole new life.
As I've recorded and shared the stories of all of these couples, and given a platform to some of the most renowned relationship experts on the planet to share their ideas and advice, I've come to learn that the world is HUNGRY for positive role models and great information on how to have a successful, lasting, passionate, committed relationsihp.
In Season 3 of The Loveumentary I'm teaming up with a Certified Sex Therapist, one of my best friends, Kristin Hodson to talk all about sex, desire, passion, intimacy, and how to cultivate a love life that is out of this world! I hope you join us on that journey by subscribing to the show.
As long as there are couples in this world who need help and support, I'm going to keep this project going. I hope more than anything that the work I do will help you have a more fulfilling, connected, and satisfying relationship. If it has, I'd love to hear from you.