Why We Love

Love is something that every human being can understand and experience. It is our common ground. We may not be able to relate to each other culturally, intellectually, or politically. But we all know what it feels like to be smitten… and also how devastating it is to be heartbroken.

“The God of Love lives in a state of need. It is a need. It is an urge. It is a homeostatic imbalance. Like hunger and thirst, it is almost impossible to stamp out.”

Understanding the biology and brain chemistry behind love won’t necessarily help you fall madly in love with your significant other… but it might help you gain an appreciation for the complexities, and the raw and very real emotions that it triggers at a very basic level in each of us.

This amazing TED Talk by Helen Fisher has helped me recommit to being a little more sympathetic and understanding when the people I love get a bout of the crazies. I mean, let’s be honest, we’ve all done something at least a little foolish in the name of love.

“Romantic love is much more than a cocaine high. At least you come down from cocaine. Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You can’t stop thinking about another human being. Somebody is camping in your head.”

Remember, love is literal chemistry just like it is figurative chemistry. Often times we don’t feel it because we aren’t using the right ingredients.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re not feeling the highs that love create, what is it that you have changed? What helps you feel chemistry with your partner? When was the last time you let someone camp in your head?


New Project!

I need your help on a project I’m working on! I’m collecting all of the fun little ways you can show someone you love them. If you have any traditions, ideas, or suggestions, submit them using the contact form here. The more specific, the better. (Instead of saying “spend time together,” say “go for a walk in the park, and hold hands.”)

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I'm the creator of The Loveumentary. I believe that just like art, language, and music, love is a skill that can be developed and mastered if you have the right training, mentors, and a high level of commitment. My hope is to help bring the possibility of extraordinary love to you and others like you. Thanks for reading! Please drop me a line or leave a comment if you have any questions or feedback.
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