Episode #37 – Forgiveness and Sex with Ty and Terri

To enter a relationship is to court pain.

-Leo Buscaglia

If we truly desire to experience deep, soul-shaking, life-changing love, we have to drop our shields, tear down our walls, and let people into our hearts. To love is to constantly run the risk of being hurt. Loving is staring potential pain in the face without flinching.

Sadly, people who live this way – and love this way – sometimes get hurt. The hurts of the heart are often the most painful. That pain can be dangerous if you don’t have the right knowledge and tools to help you recover from these hurts. Many people have opened their hearts to love freely and passionately only to be hurt, and react by building new walls twice as thick as before.

There is a secret tool available to us that will help keep us out of our Fortress of Solitude. That tool is Forgiveness.

Too many people withhold forgiveness because the person who wronged them hasn’t suffered enough, or even acknowledged that they’ve done something wrong. They hold on to the emotionally-cancerous grudge as it slowly eats away at their happiness and consumes their lives. They don’t understand the true purpose of forgiveness.

Forgiveness does far more for the forgiver than the forgivee.

Forgiveness is allowing yourself to move on. Forgiveness is letting go of the burden of a grudge. Forgiveness is not allowing someone else’s choices to ruin your life. Forgiveness is acknowledging the imperfectness in us all, and chalking up mistake after mistake to being human. Forgiveness is a fresh start. Forgiveness is a clean slate. Forgiveness is a newly opened heart… a heart receptive to love and resilient to the inevitable pain that life unexpectedly hit us with.

Forgiveness is not fair, which is what makes it so beautiful.

Forgiveness is mercy winning over justice. It’s love conquering hate. It’s new life rising victorious over death.

Forgiveness, like love, is often irrational and counter-intuitive. It works when put into practice by the shamelessly optimistic. Forgiveness is often mistaken for a feeling, when in fact, it’s a choice.

Those who never learn forgive will never have hearts open enough truly love… because, one forgives to the degree that one loves.

Who do you need to forgive? How can you forgive more freely? Can you forgive somebody even if the emotions of pain are still present? Share your experiences and thoughts in the comments!

Show Notes:
Here are some of the books referenced in the podcast:



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I'm the creator of The Loveumentary. I believe that just like art, language, and music, love is a skill that can be developed and mastered if you have the right training, mentors, and a high level of commitment. My hope is to help bring the possibility of extraordinary love to you and others like you. Thanks for reading! Please drop me a line or leave a comment if you have any questions or feedback.
  • Mari Upthegrove

    Amazing insight. Thank you so much.

  • Chelsa

    Terri mentioned a blog in this podcast. Any chance I can get a link to that? Thanks! I love what you are doing here.

  • Benjamin

    It is right, what there is told about forgiveness. My ex-girlfriend killed me, while she made clear, there would never be a chance for us two again, after she turned to one of my to that time best friends.

    Forgiving them, what they did that hardest pain suffering guy, I was, forgiving them completely without reaching any kind of compensation through them is wonderful.
    It sends so much positiveness you get it back. Do not know where it comes from – but does. Somewhere from the universe 😉