Garrett and Jenn have both been divorced. They’d both agree that divorce is really crappy, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Here are some things you can do to help yourself get through the big-D, and get back to your life again:
Divorce can be a mess. Legal battles, lawyer fees, broken hearts, and dividing assets all tossed together is a recipe for a lot of heartache and pain.
Remember that despite all the things that have gone wrong, this is an opportunity for you to learn and grow. Use this experience to become a better version of yourself. Use it as a fresh start. Identify what you can do better down the road, and commit to doing it… whether that’s becoming a better communicator, going to codependency group meetings, seeking therapy, or learning to forgive.
If you don’t learn anything from divorce, then it was all for naught.
Take Ownership Of Your Stuff
Every relationship is a two-way street. Playing the blame game and not taking responsibility for your part in the divorce doesn’t do anyone any good… especially yourself. Be willing to own your mistakes. Even better… be willing to apologize for them. Nobody is perfect. Not even you.
Don’t Be Selfish
Especially if kids are involved. Just because someone makes a bad spouse doesn’t mean they are a bad parent. Don’t let your anger and hurt bleed through and effect the relationship your kids have with their mom/dad.
Divorce is your problem, not theirs. Unfortunately, it affects them… but as their parent, it’s your job to make sure the impact is minimal, and that they feel loved even if you don’t.
Forgive the other person. Forgive yourself. It may seem like the end of the world. It may seem like you will never love again. It may seem like you’re not capable of being loved again.
Let go of those thoughts. Take your time. Breathe deep. Life works out, it always does. When you learn to love yourself again, the love of others will be felt like a rushing river into your heart.
If you don’t believe me, listen to this podcast.
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